Free Flow Thoughts- Grow caterpillar, grow

I don’t know where to begin,

feeling lost- uncomfortable in my own skin.

Sitting back and analyzing,

unable to find where I de-railed.

.

.

If I can’t find where I de-railed

how can I expect to re-rail?

.

…but do we have to start where we left off?

is it not possible,

to create and de-rail

at any time-

unbennounced to the world?

.

There is a hiatus,

a learning curve,

a gap

.

between what I was

and what I am yet to be.

.

.

I am like a fetus in the womb-

the start of something unknown

for many years after their arrival.

.

No longer an egg,

a sperm,

or an idea

but becoming…

becoming of their own self, 

before knowledge of self.

.

.

I am like a larvae in a cocoon…

past the pain of being a caterpillar-

growing past the pains of being alive

and releasing the fears rooted in survival

and giving it up to the universe.

.

I know I will emerge as I should.

.

.

In these moments of lapse,

in this hiatus of time,

something magical is brewing…

.

on the edge of

what everyone knew me to be,

what they think I will be,

and what I will become.

.

.

There is a shift in the tides.

.

Waiting,

unleashing,

resurrecting

all past,

present,

and future

aliases

of the same

me

 

Find me on medium at: https://medium.com/@JessicaLDeJesus

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Every atom is me

My hair does not not define me
My hair does not make me beautiful
My hair is not even an extension of me

My hair is simply what i want you to see

An ascetic barrier to protect my soul

Hide my real beauty behind the flaws of my skin

Encase my real heart in this shell of a body;

When you look past what i chose to let you see

You will find the real me,

The one who is beautiful beyond words 

and incomparable to anything 

except the wonder of the earth and its night sky,

The one whose generosity and kindness overflows 

between family and friends and strangers alike-

Filling every being i meet with delight 

Listening fully and keeping an open heart 

Reaching out a hand to all who need help;

The one whose strength is like the tallest and broadest mountians of the plains

But so much more… More depth than the rocky plains of the west

I am the universe and every atom in it is me